**WARNING: Serious post
--lots of words, minimal photos--
I have been so emotional in the last few weeks. It all started with singing the song "Follow You" by Leeland featuring Brandon Heath at Ethos a couple of weeks ago.
Then yesterday, I was shopping at TJMaxx with my favorite mom, Jackie. We were stopped talking to an old friend when we noticed police officers moving briskly with intention toward our area of the store. A man about 10 feet from us in the shoe department was their target. They asked him to go with him and he complied without a scene as did the woman with him. Soon another man was brought in from outside and he appeared to have been wrestled to ground as he was covered in grass. About 20 minutes later they were each individually marched through the store in handcuffs.
And you guys, it broke my heart. I nearly wept in the store as they took him. There is no obvious need for me to cry for this man. He was obviously involved in something serious...these were no mall security guard wannabees. These were the real deal cops. He was not a child who was helpless of the actions he as caught up in. He was a grown 20-something. He looked like a gangster...which I know is not politically correct and perhaps unkind to say but I merely say it allow you to picture him. He had on the too-big, baggy shorts and long dreadlocks. But for some reason to me, he looked like such a nice man.
My heart just continues to cry out for him. He obviously needed something...money, a family, attention, something. Someone didn't teach him right from wrong or maybe the first time he needed something, he tried to go about it the right way, but someone, probably a Christian, turned him away. So he did what people do in desperation without God. He made a poor decision. People aren't innately robbers or murderers.
On my way home from shopping, I heard the song from church, Follow You. I just sobbed as I sang with my hands raised (driving with my knees...do not follow my example). As I promised God that I would follow His calling. I don't know what that calling is specifically or why God is moving in me but I know He has called me to love. To love those you look like me and those who don't. To love my enemies and my family. To love the orphans and poor around the world and in my own backyard.
I am not good at it.
But God doesn't expect me to be perfect. In fact, He knows I will fail. He calls me to try.
Here is the song. Take some time to just close your eyes and listen.
Side note: Of course, Will makes this song a hundred times better...Its funny hearing a song at church and falling in love, then hearing it on the radio and going, "Man that is just not as good as Will does it." Thank you for doing such an amazing job of leading worship Will! We are so thankful for you!
I don't know if that song resonates with you, but it strikes me deep in my soul. I am not usually an emotional person. I think Brandon has seen me really cry a handful, maybe two handfuls, of times. Sometimes I get teary and my eyes glisten but real tears for me are rare. (if you are in grad school with me, don't count the tears shed during/after practicals...I do cry when I'm nervous and exhausted). I have a hard time crying at those moments when they are practically mandatory like at funerals. Thus the cold hearted labeled began.
So when Brandon looked down a couple of weeks ago at church and saw me in tears during this song, I'm sure he was confused. Then last night, I came in after not seeing him for 3 days and started immediately into this story about a stranger being arrested and started bawling about God calling me to love this man. God has just been moving in me through this song.
"And I'll follow you into the homes of the broken.
Follow you into the world.
Meet the needs of the poor and the needy God.
Follow you into the world."
What is God calling you to?
